A blog . . . in spite of how pathetic blogging actually is.

Sunday, November 16, 2008

The NRA and the coming heterosexual marriage boom

It's on.

I just thank my lucky stars that she . . .

. . . said yes thirteen years ago. Who knows what might have happened had we waited until the Democratic Party tidal wave of 2008.

Any reasonable person would rightly conclude that it'll be only a matter of time before the restrictions kick in. That's why Wisconsinites loaded up with weapons last week even though there was no campaigning (from either party) to restrict future sales of firearms. Wisconsinites know better. I mean, come on people! Look at what isn't right in front of you! Not saying anything about taking your guns was clearly a tactic designed to make you feel comfortable and lull you into a false sense of security. Your present understanding of the 2nd Amendment is juuuuuuuuuuust fine. Go take a nap.

What are you doing reading this? Get your un(der?)armed self to the gunshop, poste haste!

Democrats are prone to think in deceptive terms. We all remember the dummy lockbox from the second Bush-Gore debate in 2000. If you're someone who wants guns, you need to think like the coolheaded next President of the United States (Your nemesis is a man who was able to get through the early stages of the financial crisis without suspending his campaign even once. That's who you're up against. He won't flinch.). You need to hedge and buy now so you can keep and bear later. If you're a Republican with ties to the SEC, you're already hedging by giving yourself a bargaining chip to be used against the President Elect in his own city. Even Barack Obama has bias (and it should be exploited).

If we're talking about taking guns from various cold dead hands then don't think for a minute that pitting Cubs fans against the far better armed, Obama-backed Sox fans is out of bounds. This is hardball.

All of it taken together is why I predict a record year for traditional, man and woman ("husband" and "wife" being just two additional examples of the left's sneaky, loopholey ways) heterosexual marriages. If they're coming for your Glocks then they're coming for your institutions. Time to start thinking on a whole new level. This is chess, not checkers. So, to review:

1--Get to the gun store and strap up.

2--If you're single and straight, get to a justice of the peace (preferably right after you leave the gun shop).

3--This one's more of a personal favor and not technically review: I know the stakes are high. The 2nd Amendment and the venerability of procreative-efforted marriage are not joking matters. But is there any way we could leave Mark Cuban out of this? I'm a Cubs fan. It's been (literally) one hundred years. The one genuine Maverick out there has a huge ego which he transfers into the success of his sports franchises (and possibly his ability to make money on the stock market). I'm a man married to a woman who also happens to be a member of the NRA. In your coming battle, my devotion to the Cubs makes me an innocent bystander. Look in your heart. Find that which makes you decent. Know mercy. Let my Cuban go.

3 comments:

Sami Ghani said...

Awesome blog Mr. Jacobson: I look forward to more insightful posts on the rights we will lose under the Obama Administration!

Anonymous said...

Makes me want to marry a man right now--Sore

looking for light said...

Uh....what makes you think I'm under-armed exactly?